Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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