he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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