he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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