Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
