don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I need water and some morals
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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