Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
