Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
