I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
