This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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