So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
