I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
