Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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