i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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