I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just gift wrapped bread.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
