I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize