so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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