I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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