What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
