I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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