So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
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woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
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There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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