He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wish I only lived at night.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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