dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
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she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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