There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize