I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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