thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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