Sponge bath it is.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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