Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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