She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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