Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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