We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
