I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
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Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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