Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
In America we eat man semen.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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