i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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