belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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