idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
