Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
