Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
