she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
