I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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