But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
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drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
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Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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