So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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