In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
