i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
