Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
tell me about the eggs
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