She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
