That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
