so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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