Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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