The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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