is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
