I need help removing her.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
