there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
