I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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