Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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